


Klepto

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [166]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 19:58:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9783563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Millicent tends to... hoard... things.





	

“Hux, your cat is a klepto.”  


“My… what?” Wait, no, he knows ‘what’, as in Millicent, but what did he _call_ her?  


“Your cat. She’s a _menace_.”  


“Kylo, you’re just jealous of my affections for her, and you’re reading into–”  


“I thought it was you, at first. And I thought maybe you were just slightly perverted.”  


“I thought you said I was _very_ perverted.”  


“That’s when I got to know you,” Kylo says, rolling his eyes. “But I figured it was an acceptable weirdness, and now I find it wasn’t your perversion I was excusing.”  


“…what, precisely, are you accusing my beloved princess of?”  


“ _She keeps stealing my dirty boxers_.”  


Hux stares. And lets his eyebrows try to hide in his hair. And snaps his slack jaw back shut. “What?”

“I thought you were some freak who sniffed them, or collected them as trophies, but when I moved the big couch to look for something I dropped… Hux she keeps my skiddy, come-stained dick-rags behind it.”  


“…we’d smell them, surely?”  


“ _Apparently not. Your cat has some fucked up fetish for my groin smell.”_

Count to ten. Count to ten. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this. Rapid undressing when aroused?”

“Why is it only my boxers?”  


“…I’m tidier?”  


“ _Your cat is a pervert, Hux_.”  


“I suppose like father, like daughter.”  


“I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF YOUR GINGER MENACE DURING HAPPY ADULT TIME, HUX.”  


“I thought _I_ was your ginger menace?”  


“Oh… for the love of… the bedroom is getting a lock. No more letting her sleep on the bed in the day. Not when she can’t be trusted.”  


“This _was_ her home before it was yours.”  


“I don’t sniff her butthole!”  


“She might appreciate it, if you did.” He’s now outright teasing, but Kylo is far too easy to wind up, if you know what you’re doing.  


“I’m serious… she’s getting locked out of the bedroom, Hux.”  


“Fine…” It is a little weird, after all. “But you should be flattered. She clearly likes you, although I doubt it’s… you know. Sexual in her case.”  


Kylo looks green. It’s worth it just to tease him, even if he is going to have stern words with his cat.


End file.
